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Door Ajar

With every piercing tone, the spikes are driven further into my throbbing skull. My brain is mushed into a paste like it's being kneaded by a 12 foot pneumatic piston as my eardrums expand and contract over and over and over... Every searing beep sends electrical shock to the farthest corners of my helpless, stranded body. The jackhammer of sound penetrates my temples and sends waves of pain and agony writhing through every channel of my tortured brain. Chemicals spew out of my glands and my mind collapses in on itself, unable to bear the torment any longer.

And just as the initial tone leaves my ears and I begin to relax, the second comes without hesitation, like a firing squad in my brain. The maggots of noise gnaw away the dead cavity that once was my body and lay their eggs of torment. The explosion of sound leaves scars on my soul like an infected battle wound.

Droning on and on without variation, the tone sweeps its radius, capturing anyone in its path and sending them spiraling into utter madness. The icy hand of insanity grips the innocent victim as the sound pierces the soul's innermost layers, and dissolves them from the inside out, leaving it limp and lifeless like a soldier lying dead on a battlefield. Impaled and exhausted, my mind's futile attempt at fighting the insanity has left me, and the merciless noise moves on, unscathed as it searches out new victims to dement and torture.

God dammit, close the fucking door!

Silence. The ringing in my head rushes in to replace the sound. Floodgates open and the dam breaks as the resonating shockwave sends me careening through silence, spinning in every direction as if I'm trapped in a gyroscope. The aftermath of the explosion drained every ounce of energy from my body and left me shivering with fear like a wet rat seeking refuge from a sinking ship. My life force shattered and my mind throbbing, I drag myself up from the dusty ground of pain. I wipe my eyes free of the tears of captivity as I am set free from the prying hold of the noise.

The car door is shut and the sound drifts off into the distance as if it had never existed. If my house ever caught on fire, I would die. Not from fire nor from smoke, but from the smoke detector, beeping into oblivion...

 
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Upsideclown is an evil cartel of seven who only write in a certain style on certain days of the week, and refuse to expand. Fah, say we! Upsideclone (this site, incase you hadn't noticed) serves to subvert the name of clown and to bring others into the fold.

If you've read Upsideclown and old articles here, you get the idea. Submissions are always welcome: We operate a strictly hands-off editorial approach (we won't even correct your spelling). Once submitted, your article goes to the vote by the seven clowns. A majority, and you're in the queue for Friday publications. Go on -- submissions@upsideclone.com. And if you want to know more, hints or clarifications: come ask us in talk.

 
Archive

Clare Maguire > 6dec2002 > The Face of The Future
Simon Batistoni > 15nov2002 > Ghost
Kelly Bean > 8nov2002 > The Program
Anonymous > 1nov2002 > Winning the Lottery
Ned > 25oct2002 > Calibre
Tom Massey > 4oct2002 > Roses
Simon Batistoni > 27sep2002 > Message Centre
Riana > 20sep2002 > Value Added
Giles Turnbull > 13sep2002 > A lab technician's lot
Kevan Davis > 6sep2002 > The Campaign for Real Advertising
Giles Turnbull > 30aug2002 > The old lady and the whelk
KTL > 23aug2002 > Feet
Sandy Tulloch > 16aug2002 > How the people came to stop thinking
RavenBlack > 9aug2002 > An Arm And A Leg
Nicholas Wilshere > 19jul2002 > Two full-page ads
Dustin Ruby > 12jul2002 > Family Life
Matt Jones > 14jun2002 > The end of history
Cathrine > 7jun2002 > The Eye of the Beholder
Nick > 31may2002 > I wanna shake your hand
RavenBlack > 24may2002 > Precognito Ergo Sum
Ned > 10may2002 > Spambot
Tyrethali > 26apr2002 > The Contest
Holly Gramazio > 19apr2002 > A Tale of No Watermelons
Brooke Magnanti > 12apr2002 > What The Dead Remember
Tyrethali > 5apr2002 > Superego
RavenBlack > 29mar2002 > Black Rain
james > 22mar2002 > The Atom Thief
RavenBlack > 15mar2002 > Soul Trap
matzu > 8mar2002 > Angry Elton
RavenBlack > 1mar2002 > Hell Is Other People
JT Bruce > 22feb2002 > Door Ajar
matzu > 15feb2002 > Send in the clones
Kevan Davis > 8feb2002 > Litter
RavenBlack > 1feb2002 > The Perfect Job
Tyrethali > 25jan2002 > Mystery
Giles Turnbull > 11jan2002 > The Twisted World of Advertising
Tom Armitage > 21dec2001 > Numbers
Sandy Tulloch > 14dec2001 > Killing Cats
Brooke Magnanti > 7dec2001 > The Jet Set
Giles Turnbull > 30nov2001 > Driftwood
james > 23nov2001 > with you in mind
RavenBlack > 16nov2001 > UpsideClones
Kevan Davis > 9nov2001 > Do Not Stand Forward Of This Notice
Giles Turnbull > 2nov2001 > Group Effort
Kevan Davis > 26oct2001 > Ask The Audience
RavenBlack > 19oct2001 > Don't You Just Hate Stupid People
Martin Griffiths > 12oct2001 > Your Nearest McDonalds...
RavenBlack > 5oct2001 > Life's a bureaucracy, and then you die
Kevan Davis > 28sep2001 > Work To Win
Tom Armitage > 21sep2001 > Don't Book it - Thomas Cook it.
Giles Turnbull > 14sep2001 > What happened to George
RavenBlack > 7sep2001 > Mental States
Kevan Davis > 31aug2001 > Walking Distance
Stuart and Jack > 24aug2001 > dialogue
Kevan Davis > 17aug2001 > Collector's Item

 
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