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From: Stuart Slade
To: James X. Ryan@
cc: Jack Westhead@
Subject: story

story for upside clown

jack_westhead: this dog is bent

stuxslade: It makes my heart bleed. And also my apple bleed.

jack_westhead: take off your panties and use them as a hat. Tell everyone it is to stop the voices.

stuxslade: silvian

stuxslade: how are you cutting and slicing the beast this morning?

jack_westhead: lengthways with aplomb. It bleeds and screams its pain to the heavens more eloquently than Hamlet. Fucking annoying

stuxslade: If Hamlet was a meat he would be veal

stuxslade: or maybe chicken, if you want to be sixth-form about it

jack_westhead: veally fucking annoying

jack_westhead: what are the themes and characterisation of this chicken and can we have a focus group orgy about it?

stuxslade: He is an angry young chicken growin up in a turkeys world, pissed cus he doesn't have that wobbly chin thing going on. And then he dies. Very sad

jack_westhead: his daddy put his beak up his bottom

jack_westhead: then roared

stuxslade: But then the big chicken sexer in the sky came down to Ophelia and "nor women also" and then flowers and then water and vase for flowers and water=Ophelia

jack_westhead: isn't that the chemical formula for anthracite?

jack_westhead: have you eyes?

stuxslade: the key to the play my boy. The igneous rock fucks with the sedimentary and then the metamorphic rock just goes to shale in front of their very eyes. Then all is sand

jack_westhead: like a beach then

stuxslade: and then you die

jack_westhead: publish and be damned. i think we've cracked it

stuxslade: Call it something trendy like "Geology, Girls and Grafting - Hamlet and the Demiurge of The New"

jack_westhead: how about Melopoeia, Phanopoeia, WiganPier- The Trussing of Beauty.

jack_westhead: get private eye at lunch its good this time: EXCERPT

jack_westhead: BABY 'IS OWN FATHER'': IN AN extraodinary scientific breakthrough, doctors in a Californian clinic have produced a baby by using its own foetal tissue to self fertilise its reporductive cells in IVF conditions using DNA from a GM Soya Bean. "It's amazing", said Dr Stein. "Baby X is his own father, brother, mothe, cousin and vegetable patch".

jack_westhead: can i do the cover blurb for our treatise?

jack_westhead: This book revolves around three case studies - pregnant bodies in public places, men's bodies in domestric toilets and manager's bodies in Central Business Districts. Pregnant bodies threaten to expel, Men's bodies in public toilets break down bodily boundaries and then make them solid again. Managers wear dark tailored suits that give the appearance of a body impervious to leakage and penetration. It is a book about the fluidity of bodies and also Hamlet.


jack_westhead: pay attention


stuxslade: hey - liked your blurb more than an Osprey chick likes dead, stinking and regurgitated fish! Had to do some you know crazy things, but am now allowed to go and play in the toolshed with the powersaws

jack_westhead: I have an otter i use as a notepad

jack_westhead: In words of Basil Bunting: "Pens are too light. Take a Mescherschmidt to write!"

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Ned > 10may2002 > Spambot
Tyrethali > 26apr2002 > The Contest
Holly Gramazio > 19apr2002 > A Tale of No Watermelons
Brooke Magnanti > 12apr2002 > What The Dead Remember
Tyrethali > 5apr2002 > Superego
RavenBlack > 29mar2002 > Black Rain
james > 22mar2002 > The Atom Thief
RavenBlack > 15mar2002 > Soul Trap
matzu > 8mar2002 > Angry Elton
RavenBlack > 1mar2002 > Hell Is Other People
JT Bruce > 22feb2002 > Door Ajar
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Kevan Davis > 8feb2002 > Litter
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Giles Turnbull > 11jan2002 > The Twisted World of Advertising
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Sandy Tulloch > 14dec2001 > Killing Cats
Brooke Magnanti > 7dec2001 > The Jet Set
Giles Turnbull > 30nov2001 > Driftwood
james > 23nov2001 > with you in mind
RavenBlack > 16nov2001 > UpsideClones
Kevan Davis > 9nov2001 > Do Not Stand Forward Of This Notice
Giles Turnbull > 2nov2001 > Group Effort
Kevan Davis > 26oct2001 > Ask The Audience
RavenBlack > 19oct2001 > Don't You Just Hate Stupid People
Martin Griffiths > 12oct2001 > Your Nearest McDonalds...
RavenBlack > 5oct2001 > Life's a bureaucracy, and then you die
Kevan Davis > 28sep2001 > Work To Win
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Giles Turnbull > 14sep2001 > What happened to George
RavenBlack > 7sep2001 > Mental States
Kevan Davis > 31aug2001 > Walking Distance
Stuart and Jack > 24aug2001 > dialogue
Kevan Davis > 17aug2001 > Collector's Item

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