Upsideclone: For that which can't, won't or shouldn't be on Upsideclown.
Write for usArchiveUpsideclown


It had started out as a small cult, in an island enclave. Nobody but its adherents even noticed. Nobody joined the UpsideClones if they had people who cared about them, people who would notice them missing. It had begun with only 7, almost as a joke - they called themselves UpsideClowns, at that point.

The premise they jokingly applied, in their enclave (it was originally nothing more than a large house) was merely reversing the directions of 'up' and 'down'. It was just a bit of fun. The explanation they gave, when asked, is that they were sick of gravity bringing them down. The strange thing was, that little joke made them all inexplicably so much happier.

After a short article in a newspaper, they had interested people from all over the world, contacting them about it. They insisted it was nothing more than a joke, but the article had made it seem so serious, they weren't believed. Some people came to the house, almost intruding, and spent time amongst the UpsideClowns. Sad people, mostly, with nothing particular to live for. Surprisingly, after only a short time amongst the Clowns, these people would leave, but they would leave happy, and they didn't go far. All the homes near the ClownHouse were slowly getting bought up by sympathisers. UpsideClones. New arrivals no longer disturbed the Clowns - they could as easily get what they want from others, by that point.

By the time the island was filled, it was completely self-sufficient. The emotional stability there was astounding to others. They became a regular feature in newspapers, from religious, technical, and economical angles, and always came out looking sparkling. Nobody ever seemed to be down, any more. Some jokes about the UpsideClones started making the rounds of stand-up comedy circuits ("I hate gravity - it keeps me up all night." "So, there was this chick... She went up on me, right...") - from there, the reversed terminology blossomed out and slowly subsumed the entire English-speaking world. All from a joke.

Other, related words followed in the footsteps of 'down' and 'up' - "getting high" suddenly seemed a lot more appropriate, as drug-users would commonly end up lying on the ground. Everyone knows that Heaven is 'upwards' from Earth - that's why we bury people six feet over, of course. The environment also benefitted from the changes instigated by the subconscious associations with the words - people took to making their buildings as tall as possible, as far up over the ground as they could, which left the surface of the world almost unmarked - huge deep trees would commonly grow as far as 60 feet down, reaching for the sky. Many homes were made higher than tree roots would ever need. "Head over heels" makes sense at last, and getting up in the morning is easy these days, with gravity working in your favour.

Me, I'm interested in another small cult that's forming within the new world of UpsideClones. There are 7 of them. They call themselves Inverse Engineers. They say light when they mean dark, and dark when they mean light. When asked why, they say it's so they can be lighthearted without wasting electricity.

Write for Upsideclone

Upsideclone is now shuttered and no longer taking submissions.

Upsideclown is an evil cartel of seven who only write in a certain style on certain days of the week, and refuse to expand. Fah, say we! Upsideclone (this site, incase you hadn't noticed) serves to subvert the name of clown and to bring others into the fold.

If you've read Upsideclown and old articles here, you get the idea. Submissions are always welcome: We operate a strictly hands-off editorial approach (we won't even correct your spelling). Once submitted, your article goes to the vote by the seven clowns. A majority, and you're in the queue for Friday publications. Go on -- And if you want to know more, hints or clarifications: come ask us in talk.


Clare Maguire > 6dec2002 > The Face of The Future
Simon Batistoni > 15nov2002 > Ghost
Kelly Bean > 8nov2002 > The Program
Anonymous > 1nov2002 > Winning the Lottery
Ned > 25oct2002 > Calibre
Tom Massey > 4oct2002 > Roses
Simon Batistoni > 27sep2002 > Message Centre
Riana > 20sep2002 > Value Added
Giles Turnbull > 13sep2002 > A lab technician's lot
Kevan Davis > 6sep2002 > The Campaign for Real Advertising
Giles Turnbull > 30aug2002 > The old lady and the whelk
KTL > 23aug2002 > Feet
Sandy Tulloch > 16aug2002 > How the people came to stop thinking
RavenBlack > 9aug2002 > An Arm And A Leg
Nicholas Wilshere > 19jul2002 > Two full-page ads
Dustin Ruby > 12jul2002 > Family Life
Matt Jones > 14jun2002 > The end of history
Cathrine > 7jun2002 > The Eye of the Beholder
Nick > 31may2002 > I wanna shake your hand
RavenBlack > 24may2002 > Precognito Ergo Sum
Ned > 10may2002 > Spambot
Tyrethali > 26apr2002 > The Contest
Holly Gramazio > 19apr2002 > A Tale of No Watermelons
Brooke Magnanti > 12apr2002 > What The Dead Remember
Tyrethali > 5apr2002 > Superego
RavenBlack > 29mar2002 > Black Rain
james > 22mar2002 > The Atom Thief
RavenBlack > 15mar2002 > Soul Trap
matzu > 8mar2002 > Angry Elton
RavenBlack > 1mar2002 > Hell Is Other People
JT Bruce > 22feb2002 > Door Ajar
matzu > 15feb2002 > Send in the clones
Kevan Davis > 8feb2002 > Litter
RavenBlack > 1feb2002 > The Perfect Job
Tyrethali > 25jan2002 > Mystery
Giles Turnbull > 11jan2002 > The Twisted World of Advertising
Tom Armitage > 21dec2001 > Numbers
Sandy Tulloch > 14dec2001 > Killing Cats
Brooke Magnanti > 7dec2001 > The Jet Set
Giles Turnbull > 30nov2001 > Driftwood
james > 23nov2001 > with you in mind
RavenBlack > 16nov2001 > UpsideClones
Kevan Davis > 9nov2001 > Do Not Stand Forward Of This Notice
Giles Turnbull > 2nov2001 > Group Effort
Kevan Davis > 26oct2001 > Ask The Audience
RavenBlack > 19oct2001 > Don't You Just Hate Stupid People
Martin Griffiths > 12oct2001 > Your Nearest McDonalds...
RavenBlack > 5oct2001 > Life's a bureaucracy, and then you die
Kevan Davis > 28sep2001 > Work To Win
Tom Armitage > 21sep2001 > Don't Book it - Thomas Cook it.
Giles Turnbull > 14sep2001 > What happened to George
RavenBlack > 7sep2001 > Mental States
Kevan Davis > 31aug2001 > Walking Distance
Stuart and Jack > 24aug2001 > dialogue
Kevan Davis > 17aug2001 > Collector's Item

Articles by email

You can sign up to receive articles by email. Simple send the word subscribe in the body of an email to To leave send the word unsubscribe, but why would you ever want to?

Contact us

Catch us at Upsideclown, homepages of authors are hyperlinked above, or directly at